Step/Week 8, Day 7 – Amends: Saying Sorry for the Hurt Caused Testimony
May 6, 2020 198
“So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and suddenly remember that a friend has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar and go and apologize and be reconciled to him, and then come and offer your sacrifice to God” (Matt. 5:23-24, TLB).
You have to admit that saying sorry to someone never comes easy, even more so when it might have been years from when the actual event that caused that person hurt has taken place. But as you’ve realised from this week’s readings, making amends is an essential part of recovery. It will release you for your hurts, habits, hang-ups, and resentments.
To say I made many mistakes whilst being addicted would be somewhat of a massive understatement. I was painfully aware of my shortcomings. I also realised that I had left a trail of destruction along the path I walked at that time.
My main concern, for each day, was getting that next drink. I became a “master” at manipulating a situation, so that it would enable me to take a drink. At that time, it didn’t really matter who got hurt by me drinking. The consequences would always have to be faced tomorrow, normally through the eyes of fear, and that’s the insanity of the addicted mindset.
I knew I had to be willing to make amends at some point in my recovery. I couldn’t move on if I didn’t. Which brings me to the verse for today. I like this verse for the simplicity of its instruction. If I have something against someone or they have something against me, then if I’m in church and are planning to go to the altar to take Holy Communion, then I need to pause and go and put things right, especially if it’s something I’ve done wrong to them. That’s my part to play. I’m compelled to do this, each time the Holy Spirit nudges my conscience. I needn’t worry about the reaction of the other person. They may or may not forgive me. That’s their choice. I cannot control the choice they make but I can control the willingness to put things right with them.
– Graham Hood
Prayer: Heavenly Father, I know how much I’ve messed things up. I have caused people hurt by my actions and words. I pray that You will give me the willingness to identify these people and to want to make amends to them. Guide me and lead me to the right time and place, when I can make these amends. Thank You for your love and mercy. Thank You for all You are doing in my life. Thank You for the promise of freedom you offer me from my hurts, habits, hang-ups, and resentments. Be close by me, this day. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.