Step/Week 8, Day 1 – Amends: Admit the Hurt and the Harm
May 6, 2020 235
“Never criticize or condemn—or it will all come back on you. Go easy on others; then they will do the same for you” (Lk. 6:37, TLB).
Your addictions and behaviour that you’ve shown whilst being addicted has probably had catastrophic consequences on your relationships, and this is a big problem now you’re in recovery. Being relational beings, as God designed, shows the importance relationships have in your life. When relationships are broken, fractured or just downright dysfunctional, then you can be sure they’re reasons behind this.
Things like betrayal, jealousy, envy, anger, resentments. You have probably hurt others by your actions and words and others have probably hurt you, too. At this point in your recovery, it would be highly beneficial for you to become aware of the people you have hurt and the people who have hurt you. The point of this is for you to be willing to make amends to those people you have hurt, at a later time. Note, the word “willing”; you only need to be willing to do this. You might like to make a note of these people for the time you might want to make direct amends to them.
The verse for today talks a lot about “letting go”. When you keep hold of your hurts, hang-ups, and resentments, you take them into the relationships you’re in. They affect how you think and behave towards others. They also get in the way of your relationship with God, which is serious.
By being willing to make amends to others and for you to “go easy” on them, this will open up a route to healthier relationships that have removed the barriers that once existed for some time. You need healthy relationships within recovery to move further to your goal of making a full and complete recovery.
– Graham Hood
Personal Reflection: Are you willing to think about those you’ve hurt and those who’ve hurt you? Do any immediately spring to mind? Are you willing to make a list of these for later use?